Seek
by Aldea0402
Summary: A seemingly simple case of teen runaways leads Tony and Ziva to Boston where their investigation takes an unexpected turn. They meet Dr. Catherine Cordell, a surgeon who had a common link with Ziva. Will Ziva be able to finally drop her walls and let her healing finally begin? TIVA. Loose Crossover with "Rizzoli & Isles". Rated T for subject matter only.
1. Chapter 1

**"Seek"-A NCIS/Rizzoli and Isles crossover.**

**Rated R for theme**

**And no, Tony isn't going to meet Maura Isles and think she looks familiar. **

**Ziva David and Tony DiNozzo belong to "NCIS" and CBS/Bellisario Productions.**

**Catherine Cordell and Thomas Moore belong to Tess Gerristsen and appear in the first "Rizzoli and Isles" novel titled "The Surgeon". Neither character has appeared on the TV Series with the exception of Catherine briefly when Rizzoli flashed back to when Hoyt had skewered her to the floor with scalpels. ::shudder::**

_**Author's Note: ****This is completely different than what I usually write. ** I've recently started reading the "Rizzoli and Isles" novels and fell head over heels in love with the first one called "The Surgeon". Although the characters I'm writing about in this story apparently doesn't appear in their further novels, I adored their story enough to want to continue their story._

* * *

_Part 1/3_

Ziva David sat quietly in the passenger side of their rental car as DiNozzo maneuvered through the winding streets of Boston.

They were here on what was supposed to be a routine case. A Navy Captain's 16 year old daughter had run away with her boyfriend, taking her 15 year old best friend with them. The girl's fathers were currently deployed and their Mother's frantic. Hearing that the boyfriend was a twenty something Navy washout had prompted NCIS to get involved.

They'd tracked his financials to Boston. As the team was gearing up and ready to head North and retrieve the girls another case had landed on their desks. Gibbs begrudgingly had sent Tony and Ziva to Boston to wrap up the case while he and McGee began working the new one.

However, soon after they arrived all hell seemed to break loose. Their case of the 'partying' teens had taken a horrible turn. Tracking his ATM withdraws, they found one of the machines across the street from a less than hospitable motel. After flashing their badges and Ziva threatening bodily harm to the disgusting man behind the desk, he finally acknowledged that he'd seen the two girls here. He handed over the room key uninterested in the fact that the girls were underage and that there were two federal agents standing in front of him.

Knocks on the door went unanswered, and when they unlocked the room to enter their case went completely topsy turvy.

There, laying on the bed, was 15 year old Colleen Thompson. Her body was contorted in an unnatural position and covered in blood. Checking for life signs had been routine only.

Tony and Ziva had continued working the case. They had several leads which all turned into nothing. Finally, with the help of Boston Homicide, they had a solid lead. They arrived just as the suspect was fleeing in his car. Laurie Delgado was spotted in the passenger seat, screaming and trying to exit the vehicle. Tony and Ziva were hot in pursuit. Boston PD had blocked off all major roads. There would be no way for Pete Jenkins to escape.

Jenkins had turned down an alley way that led between two buildings. Tony and Ziva watched in horror as he exited the other end without slowing to look. Perhaps if he had, he would have seen that SUV bearing down on him. The SUV struck directly on the driver's side door, killing Jenkins instantly and severely injuring young Laurie.

Her Mother was in transit to Boston as Tony and Ziva followed the ambulance which was rushing Laurie to Pilgrim Hospital. They followed Laurie's gurney until they could go no farther. A nurse began guiding them away as a rush of medical personnel entered the room.

Tony and Ziva exchanged glances as he pulled out his cell phone to call Gibbs and update him. After what seemed like an eternity, the doors flew open and a gurney carrying Laurie exited. The two agents came forward but stopped when they saw that she was being wheeled to the elevator.

The same nurse that told them they could wait by the desk came over to briefly update them. "She has internal bleeding and is being taken up to surgery."

Tony's heart jumped into his throat. Ziva seemed slightly stunned. "Will she be okay?"

The nurse smiled gently. "Dr. Cordell believes it's her spleen. If that's the case it'll be removed. Try not to worry, Dr. Cordell is one of our best."

The two agents nodded. The nurse gave them direction to the surgical waiting room. They stopped quickly in the cafeteria to grab a cup of coffee before heading upstairs.

It felt like an eternity before another nurse came out to lead them to Laurie's room. She'd pulled through the surgery and her prognosis was good. At least physically.

Tony stopped and looked at the nurse. "You know, everyone here had been great. Usually we're fighting with the hospital staff when we're on a case."

The nurse smiled at him. "Well, we have a lot of experience here dealing with law enforcement."

It was an odd comment, but both Tony and Ziva let it go. They entered an empty hospital room as Laurie hadn't been brought in from recovery. They sat silently mulling over the case in their minds when the door opened and a hospital bed was wheeled in followed by several nurses.

Tony and Ziva stood out of the way while they locked the wheels of the bed and got the IV and monitoring equipment in place. Most of the nurses left the room once an authoritative, tall woman wearing green scrubs entered.

She was wearing a surgical cap and quickly grabbed Laurie's chart from the foot of the bed. She scanned over the notes and went to check the monitor's before scribbling into the chart.

Satisfied that Laurie was settled, she turned towards Tony and Ziva, pulling off her surgical cap and dropping it into the bin. They were both immediately struck by her beauty. She had ivory skin and blazing eyes which was set off by her coppery hair.

She smiled and stepped towards the agents. "I'm Dr. Cordell." She offered her hand out to Tony and Ziva who introduced themselves.

Dr. Cordell turned and looked at the young girl laying in the bed. She spoke softly. "She'll be out for a while yet. I had to remove her spleen. There was too much damage done in the accident." She paused for a moment. "I spoke to her Mother before the surgery. She gave permission for the two of you to act as Laurie's guardians until she arrives later tonight."

Ziva nodded and looked at the young girl who was sleeping peacefully. "Will she recover?"

Catherine nodded but paused before speaking further. "Physically, it will take time. But she will recover. Mentally may be another story. She has marks and bruises on her body that are too old to be from the accident. There's also evidence that she's been-" Cordell paused and looked down "-sexually assaulted." She finished.

Tony and Ziva looked at each other before the doctor. "Why don't you think it was consensual?" He asked, afraid to hear her answer.

Cordell placed a reassuring hand on the girl's leg although she was still sleeping. She nodded her head towards the door and led them to the hallway. Once the door was closed she spoke quietly. "There's too much trauma. Bruising and tearing. There's evidence that she was restrained as well. We documented it all in the ER. We also did a complete rape kit before taking her upstairs."

Tony leaned his back against the wall. "We'll have the evidence sent to our lab in D.C. But the man who did this died in the car accident."

Her face flushed slightly. "There isn't much more you can do tonight. Why don't you go rest. She won't be awake for several more hours. I'll leave instructions at the nurse's station to allow both of you in to talk to her first thing in the morning. I'll be here around 7am to do my morning rounds. I'd like to monitor her while you talk to her."

They both nodded and thanked her as they handed her their business cards. On the way to their hotel, Tony couldn't help but notice how quiet Ziva was. She stared silently out the window as the city rolled by.

This wasn't the first time this had happened. Anytime they worked a case that involved abuse or rape he'd watch Ziva retreat into herself.

Once at the hotel, she threw Tony a small smile and softly said "Goodnight" before entering into her room. He stood there and listened while she locked the door and then the deadbolt. He wondered if she'd always locked her doors like that or if it was a habit she picked up after Somalia.

* * *

The following morning, they'd grabbed a quick breakfast and coffee from Dunkin' Donuts before heading to the hospital. They'd arrived on the Fifth floor at 6:45am. They showed their badges to a man sitting at the nurse's station who smiled.

"You can go right in. Dr. Cordell is already in her room." He explained.

"This early?" Ziva asked.

A nurse wearing pink scrubs turned. "Yes. We had to page her so she could order meds for the poor girl. She woke up in the middle of the night and started having a panic attack. Even her mother couldn't calm her."

Tony smiled slightly. "And here I thought only law enforcement officers kept these crazy hours."

The nurse chuckled slightly as his attempt to lighten the mood. "Well, Dr. Cordell is used to that too. She's married to a cop."

Realization dawned on Tony and Ziva. That was why Cordell was so accommodating to them. She understood their job and what it entailed.

They knocked softly and entered when Laurie's Mother Michelle opened the door. "Agent David, Agent DiNozzo, come in please." She gestured.

The entered the room and nodded in acknowledgement to Catherine who was standing next to Laurie's bed. Michelle looked at the two agents with tears in her eyes. "Thank you so much for finding her."

Slightly embarrassed by the attention, they nodded and moved further into the room. Dr. Cordell leaned closer to Laurie.

"Laurie, this is Agents David and DiNozzo."

The young girl focused on the two agents. Her eyes widened when she saw Tony. He sensed that his presence was making her uncomfortable and stepped back allowing Ziva to take the lead.

"How are you feeling Laurie?" She asked gently.

The girl shrugged. "Okay I guess… sort of foggy."

Cordell smiled. "That's the medication you're on. It'll fade in a few hours."

Laurie swallowed and looked at Ziva. "Where is he?"

Ziva paused for a moment glancing at Michelle. "I haven't told her anything." Michelle confirmed.

Ziva nodded slightly. Laurie began breathing heavily. "Is he here… in this hospital? Oh my God is his room close to mine?"

Cordell immediately intervened. "Relax Laurie, just relax. It's okay. He's not here."

Laurie's breathing slowly returned to normal. Ziva told her softly. "He died in the accident."

Laurie turned her head away. "He-" the girl began to choke up. Catherine reached a soothing hand out to her patient hoping the girl would calm enough to not require being medicated again.

She flinched slightly at Catherine's touch. Tony was more appreciative of the fact that he'd chosen to stay back. He didn't think Laurie would be able having a man even stand in her vicinity.

Large tears streamed down her face. "He- he killed Colleen!" She suddenly blurted out. Michelle jumped forward and reached out to comfort her daughter. Laurie cried on her Mom's shoulder. But although it took time, she was able to answer all of Ziva's questions. Tony wrote some down and passed them to Ziva.

He felt sick to his stomach. In essence, Peter had posed as a 17 year old online. The girls had talked to him for weeks until they all decided to meet. He offered to come over one day and they would all go out to lunch. Although he looked older than what they though, neither Laurie or Colleen thought much about it. They gladly got into his truck to head to the local diner. In the parking lot, they got out of the truck while he lagged slightly behind. Before they had a chance to move towards the door, Laurie remember a foul smelling cloth being put over her mouth and nose.

Both Tony and Ziva noticed Dr. Cordell stiffen, but she said nothing. Both agents exchanged another look.

Laurie continued her story. She'd regained consciousness in the backseat of a car, far away from the diner. He'd used his size and threats of harming the other girl to keep them subdued. Once in Boston, he'd kept them bound and gagged in the hotel as he took his time taunting them.

He'd raped Laurie first, forcing Colleen to watch the entire time. When he was done with Laurie he pushed her off of the bed and grabbed for Colleen. She's attempted to resist, but he hit her hard in the face which dazed her.

Laurie recounted watching her friend get abused and tormented. Colleen was able to get her leg loose and kicked Pete hard which sent him into a rage. That was when he'd killed her.

It took a long time to get the entire story, and they'd allowed several breaks for Laurie to calm down. Dr. Cordell had stayed the entire time, monitoring her patient. She excused herself briefly to call another doctor, a Dr. Falco, to cover the rest of her rounds.

Ziva stepped forward looking haunted. She reached out to the young girl placing a reassuring hand on her arm. "You did wonderful Laurie. You concentrate on getting better."

Momentarily, Tony swore that he'd seen the same haunted look in both Ziva and Dr. Cordell's faces. But just as quickly as he'd seen Ziva do it a million times, he watched as Dr. Cordell pulled an invisible mask into place.

"Laurie, I'm going to have someone come down who you can talk to." She began to explain.

"No! No! I can't. I- I can't talk about it again. Mom please!" She began to beg.

Michelle was distraught. "Laurie you have to talk to someone, a professional-"

"NO!" She began hyperventilating which made her monitors begin to sound. Two nurses rushed into the room. Catherine barked an order for meds to be pushed into her IV line. Within seconds, Laurie began to calm. Her eyes eventually slipped closed.

Michelle sat staring at her daughter. Her face was pale and drawn. Dr. Cordell looked forlornly at Tony and Ziva before reaching across and touching Michelle's arm.

"She may change her mind…. Sometimes it just takes time." She tried to console.

Michelle was quiet for several moments. "And what if she doesn't? I can't let her live stuck in this horror-"

Tony definitely saw it this time. He looked to Ziva to see if she witnessed it too.

She had. Dr. Cordell's already light skin had paled even more. She swallowed several times and looked away. "The horror NEVER goes away. It's how you live with that has happened. How you rise to overcome it."

'Spoken like someone who has experience.' Tony thought to himself.

He glanced at Ziva again and was shocked to see her wordlessly nodding her head. His stomach clenched.

"But…. Where do we even begin?" Michelle asked.

Catherine sat on the edge of the bed. "Check around your town. Sometimes there are groups or peer meetings that she may feel comfortable with."

Ziva spoke. "Online, there are anonymous support groups for women suffering from PTSD and are the victims of rape."

Cordell's head suddenly snapped around. She stared at Ziva for several moments. Ziva and her locked eyes and suddenly it dawned on the both of them.

"CCord." Ziva murmured. Catherine's brow furrowed slightly. She and Ziva continued to stare at one another for several moments before Catherine nodded ever so slightly.

Tony heard Ziva take a sharp intake of breath as the two women continued to stare. Finally, Catherine turned back towards Michelle. "She'll sleep for a couple of hours. When she wakes up, keep her comfortable. If she changes her mind about talking to someone I'll leave the referral in her chart."

Michelle nodded. "Thank you Dr. Cordell."

Cordell stood from the bed and glanced again at Ziva. She pointed towards the door meaning for Tony and Ziva to follow her. They promised Michelle that they would be back later. They followed her out into the hallway where she was waiting.

She turned to look at Ziva. She reached her hand out. "CCord."

Ziva smiled slightly and reached out to shake her hand. "NinjaChk." She replied.

Catherine smiled and nodded. "I have to start my clinical hours shortly. Why don't we grab some coffee and go to my office?"

Ziva nodded and immediately began to follow her. Tony was completely baffled at what was happening but followed wordlessly.

They grabbed coffee from the cafeteria and wound their way through the hospital until the reached a suite. The sign in front said:

Dr. Peter Falco, M.D.

Dr. Catherine Cordell, M.D.

General and Vascular Surgery

They entered through the glass doors into a now empty waiting room. "Good morning Helen." Catherine called to the older lady behind the reception desk who was setting up for the day.

"Good morning Dr. Cordell." She looked strangely at the two agents following her. "Uh-"

Catherine smiled. "Don't worry Helen. They're friends."

Helen looked relieved. "Oh thank Heavens. I wouldn't want-" She stopped suddenly and looked guiltily at Catherine.

Cordell smiled sadly. "Neither do I Helen. Neither do I."

She turned and led Tony and Ziva into her office. She reached for her lab coat hanging on the door.

Sitting behind her desk she smiled at Ziva who took a seat. "So much for our chat room being anonymous, huh?"

Ziva chuckled. "What were the chances that two of us would ever meet in person?"

Catherine nodded. "What gave me away?" She asked with a smile before sipping her coffee.

Ziva slowly drank her coffee. "What you said about the horror never going away and learning to live with it. I've seen those words spoken in that chat room."

Tony flopped down into the chair next to Ziva. "So, let me get this straight. You two have been talking… online… in a chat room and just happened to meet in person?"

Ziva nodded. "The chat room is anonymous. No one uses their real name."

Catherine chuckled. "Although some of us have no imagination and made their screen name close to their real name."

Ziva glanced at Tony. "Or the nickname your partner calls you behind your back." Tony blushed slightly and smiled causing Catherine to chuckle.

He was very interested. "So… what kind of chat room is it?"

In the excitement of what was going on, he'd forgotten about what they'd been talking about in Laurie's room.

"It's a private chat room that you have to have instructions to get to. You can't just search it on the internet and find it. But it's strictly for women who are suffering from PTSD." Catherine explained.

"PTSD? Oh-" Tony murmured suddenly uncomfortable.

Ziva took a deep breath and focused on her partner. "We are all victims of rape." She said softly.

Tony felt a flood of emotions all at once. Ziva, in the two three years since Somalia had happened, had NEVER admitted to him what she'd experienced. He's always suspected…. And deep down knew….but she had opened up to him about it.

Her dark eyes were focused directly on him and for the first time ever, Tony felt as if he was looking directly into her soul. His first instinct was to reach out and pull her into his arms. He saw her cheeks flush and realized that they'd been staring at one another.

He turned his attention to Dr. Cordell. "This chat room… do you run it?"

Catherine sat back in her chair pulling her lab coat tight around herself, almost as if it was a shield. "No, no one administers the room. We just all gather there and talk."

Ziva spoke quietly. "Everyone in that room is a victim."

Catherine leaned her arms on her desk and looked Ziva directly in the eyes. "No, we're all survivors. There is a difference."

Tony could tell Ziva was uncomfortable. She ran her hair through hair although it was pony tailed. She smiled sadly at Catherine.

"Sometimes, I'm not sure which is which." She said to her softly.

Catherine was about to reply when her phone buzzed. Helen was announcing her first appointment of the day.

"The two of you will be in town for a few more days. Why don't you come over for dinner tonight?"

Ziva stood quickly. Tony could tell she was quickly trying to extract herself from the situation. Something inside Tony told him to not let this opportunity pass by.

"We'd love to." He said as he stood from his seat. Ziva shot him a look that would have weakened most men's knees. He was used to it however.

Catherine smiled and nodded. She scribbled her address down on a sheet of paper and stood. She intentionally handed it to Tony.

'She notices Ziva's attitude too.' He thought to himself.

"How about 7:00?" She said directly to him.

"We'll be there." He announced.

Ziva turned quickly and exited Cordell's office. They were slightly stunned to see the waiting room, which had been empty just minutes before, was now almost filled. Once outside of the suite, Ziva spun quickly on him.

"Since when do I need you to make my dinner plans for me?" She spat defiantly.

He sighed and fought his first instinct. Shooting back a smart comment would definitely not help this situation.

"Ziva-" He reached out to touch her arm. She pulled back angrily. Undeterred, he did it again. The moment his fingers touched her skin he could feel some of her anger ebb away.

"-have you talked to anyone about this? Professionally I mean." He continued.

She sighed. "I talked to Dr. Bracco-"

"For what, just a couple of appointments? Anyone else besides Dr. Manhands?"

She smiled slightly at his nickname for Dr. Bracco. "No. I just…. I tried to go to meetings once or twice…. I never made it through the door. One time the counselor had seen me lingering outside. She didn't try to force me to go in. Instead she gave me a flyer to the chat room."

He leaned back against the wall and waited while people came down the hallway. Once they were out of site, he spoke again.

"Does the chat room help?" He asked gently.

She shrugged. "Sometimes. No one there has a situation similar to mine. Mostly we just talk about our daily lives, how we react to situations."

Tony thought for a moment. "Why are you so hesitant to get to know Dr. Cordell? A woman can never have too many girlfriends." He joked lamely.

Ziva appreciated it and smiled slightly, leaning on the wall next to him. "Abby is my 'girlfriend'." She emphasized.

"Yeah, but have to talked to Abby about this?"

"No." She said quickly. "You are the only one who knows." she said quietly.

He didn't want to disagree with her, but felt as if he owed her the truth. "Ziva-" He turned his head. "-we all know. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened to you, the lone woman in a terrorist training camp with 30 men."

Her face flushed. "Abby wouldn't understand." She whispered.

"Maybe Dr. Cordell will?" He tried.

She was quiet for several moments. "Maybe." She conceded.

He smiled and stepped forward. "Good, then it's a date!" He announced.

She looked at him oddly. He was undeterred by her odd look. He reached out and took her hand in his and began leading them out of the hospital.

Ziva stared at their conjoined hands oddly, thinking at how comfortable they seemed to fit together. Almost like they were always meant to be that way.

To Be Continued


	2. Chapter 2

**"Seek"-A NCIS/Rizzoli and Isles crossover.**

**Rated T for theme**

**Disclaimer's still apply**

* * *

**"Seek" 2/3**

Catherine bustled in the door and threw her keys onto the table in the entranceway.

"Hey, sorry I'm late!" She called into the house. She came into the kitchen and had to stop and smile. Her grand plan of getting home early enough to start dinner before Tony and Ziva arrived had gone awry when a four car pile up was wheeled into the emergency room.

But her smile was for another reason. Thomas was in the kitchen and already had dinner going. Onions and fresh chopped garlic was simmering in olive oil. Next to the stove several tomatoes had been chopped and was waiting to be added to the pan.

He smiled and leaned down to kiss his wife. "I was wondering if you would make it before our guests did."

She sighed. "They should be here soon. Sorry I sprung this on you at the last minute."

He shrugged. "It wasn't last minute. You called me this morning." This was Thomas and his easygoing nature. Somehow, she though that him and Agent DiNozzo would hit it off really well.

He leaned and grabbed another kiss from her causing her smile to return. "Here, take over here so I can get changed."

She noticed that he was still wearing part of his suit from work. She took the spatula from his hand and watched as he disappeared towards their bedroom..

Satisfied that nothing was going to burn, she followed him down the hall. He smiled when he heard her coming. She began changing into a pair of yoga pants and matching top. He watched as she paused to look at her reflection in the mirror, staring at the scar on her lower abdomen.

His arms coming around behind her startled her. She welcomed his warmth and wrapped her arms around his. The kiss on the side of her head chased away the demons.

"What are you thinking?" He whispered.

She leaned into his embrace. "Nothing. It was just a bad day. And I'm not really sure how tonight is going to go."

He nodded understandingly. Before they could speak any further their doorbell rang.

"Do you want to get that?" He joked as Catherine spun and hit him in the arm. She quickly reached for her clothes as he disappeared out into the hallway.

Ziva was fidgety which Tony had never once seen from her. He reached out and put his hands on her shoulders. She stood instantly still. "Relax ninja." he soothed.

She mock glared at him over the use of her nickname. Before she could say anything further the front door opened.

They immediately jumped apart noticing the man's stare at the semi-compromised position they'd been caught in.

Tony stammered slightly. "Mr. Cordell?"

Thomas smiled widely. "You could say that. Detective Thomas Moore." He reached his hand out and shook Tony's hand.

"Tony DiNozzo. " Thomas smiled and glanced to Ziva. "And you must be Ziva David?" He shook her hand and noticed it was ice cold, even on this balmy Boston night.

Ziva felt her stomach clench. 'He knows. She told him and he knows!' she thought to herself.

Tony noticed her silence and cleared his throat. Ziva startled slight and managed "Nice to meet you." Before shaking his hand.

Thomas stood back and gestured them inside. He closed the door behind them and smiled. "Catherine just got home herself a few minutes ago. She'll be right out, she's just changing. Please, make yourself at home."

Tony and Ziva settled into the living room and looked around the house in curiosity. It was bright and cheery, not something you would expect from a police officer and ER physician who dealt with horrors everyday.

Catherine came walking into the room quickly. "Hey, you two are right on time. Dinner will be just a few minutes. Something to drink?"

Ziva settled on water while Tony gratefully accepted a bottle of beer. Tony noted that instead of pouring her water out, Catherine would carefully drink from the bottle and replace the cap after every sip.

Tony and Ziva were surprised to find that Thomas had been a detective for over ten years. He'd worked homicide for the bulk of those years before transferring to special victims two years ago.

Ziva shifted in her seat, her discomfort becoming apparent again. It didn't take much for her or Tony to figure out why Thomas had transferred. They knew it was because of Catherine.

Thomas and Tony began swapping stories of when they were both patrol officers. Some of the stories left everyone in hysterics. Thomas' was a handsome man, with just the right smattering of grey streaking his dark hair. His grey eyes spoke of kindness and were accentuated by the laugh lines visible every time he smiled.

Ziva thought him to be a older than Catherine, perhaps by at least ten years. But their marriage seemed to be working for them. They moved fluidly together, sharing smiles that didn't need words spoken.

Tony was relaxing immensely. "So, how long have you two been married?" He blurted out. Ziva glared at him and fought back the impulse to slap his leg.

Thomas brought a fresh round of drinks. "Almost four years now."

"Really?" Tony asked surprised. Catherine appeared from the kitchen.

"Why does that surprise you?" She asked with a smile.

Tony shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable. He smiled. "Well- uh… you two act like newlyweds I guess."

Catherine smirked and went back into the kitchen. Thomas merely smiled. "Well, believe or not we're still learning. This is my second marriage, her first. Everyday is a new experience. We're just grateful to have each other."

Ziva stood and went to the kitchen to see if Catherine needed help with anything. She finished making the garlic bread while Catherine finished draining the pasta.

"I do not think we should leave the two of them alone too long. Tony is probing Thomas about your marriage." She advised.

Catherine smiled. "That's okay. It's good for Thomas to have some male company. I think he gets tired of me day after day."

Ziva smirked. "Not judging by how he looks at you. It is… refreshing… to see you have overcome your experience."

Catherine stopped. "Have you?" She asked bluntly.

Ziva put the oven mitts down and turned to her. "Have I what?"

"Overcome your experience."

Ziva turned back towards the stove and began fiddling with the over mitts. "It was a few years ago." Was her reply.

Catherine's brow furrowed. "For me too. You and Tony seem-"

Ziva interrupted her wanting to change the topic of the conversation. "There is no 'me and Tony'. We are partners. Nothing more."

"Really?"

Ziva sighed. "Yes, really. A lot of people seem to think otherwise but-"

Catherine smiled slightly. "Maybe that should be your first clue?"

Before Ziva could reply she was busy mixing the pasta. Ziva stared at her for a few moments and didn't turn her attention away until the oven timer went off.

They settled around the table and dug into their meal as the two men continued to swap stories. They'd switched to red wine to accompany their meal which had definitely loosened everyone up.

By the time the food was polished off, Tony felt like he was amongst old friends. While Catherine did have the experiences that the other three had, she enjoyed listening to their stories.

Both Tony and Thomas offered to clear the table but Catherine declined. She enjoyed seeing Thomas have some "cop time" with Tony and she didn't want to take that away from him.

Ziva continued to help clear the dishes as they got the dishwasher loaded and running.

The wine had definitely eased Ziva's tension but something continued to nag at the back of her mind. Finally she spun to Catherine.

"What did you mean earlier?" She asked.

Catherine put down the towel she was using to wipe the counter and turned to her. "When?"

"Before dinner. When you said maybe it should be 'my first clue'."

She shrugged. "I don't know. There just seems to be something there, but you said you're not a couple."

Ziva shook her head. "No, there are… too many complications."

Catherine sadly studied her for a moment. Ziva looked at her oddly. "What?" She demanded.

"You remind me a lot of someone I used to know." She said softly.

Ziva leaned against he counter. "Who is that?"

"Me….. Right after I was raped." She said bluntly.

Ziva crossed her arms but said nothing.

Catherine studied her for a moment longer. "Right after it happened, I closed myself off to the world. I couldn't even go back into my home. My Father had to pack my things for me."

Ziva was silent while she processed what Catherine had told her. "It- it happened in your home?"

Catherine merely nodded, her eyes becoming haunted. "I left town, moved here to Boston. It took me months before I could go outside alone at night…. A year before I could pull my life together enough to begin to work."

Ziva shook her head. "I… I went back to work just weeks after. My situation is different, no one can understand."

"Try me." Catherine dared her.

Ziva dropped her eyes to the floor. "Ziva- what I meant….I'm not a licensed therapist. But I've been to the same place where you are. I had walls up so high that NO ONE could get through. It's how I protected myself."

Ziva raised her eyes slightly but still not making eye contact. "What changed?"

Catherine smiled. "Thomas. Before I met him I wouldn't even dare to think of a man anywhere near me unless it was at the hospital where I was in control. I never even went on a date. Let alone letting a man… touch me."

Ziva was looking her in the eyes now. Catherine felt as if she was making progress, so she continued. "Until I met Thomas. I barely knew him for two weeks before I invited him in for a drink. We both knew what was happening… what it was going to lead to. And you know what… I didn't even hesitate. We both knew we shouldn't but it didn't matter. Once I let him in my whole life changed."

Ziva considered her words. "I… I have been with someone since then. We-" Her face reddened. "-we were together, but I did not enjoy it. I kept flinching and my body began to shake. He… he thought it was me reacting to him. And I was… just not how he thought."

"How did you feel?" Catherine asked softly.

Ziva thought for a moment. She wanted to tell Catherine nothing more than 'I was fine'. But, she was someone who had lived through it. Maybe she would understand.

"I- I felt disgusted. I just wanted to get it over with. And when he fell asleep, I crawled out of bed and had to shower." She confessed quietly, fighting back tears.

Catherine put a comforting hand on her arm. "It sounds to me like you weren't ready. Or maybe… deep down… you knew he wasn't the right guy?"

Ziva inhaled deeply. "It was a little easier after. But I could never just shake that feeling like I was dirty. There were still times that I wanted to push him away from me and flee." She confessed.

Catherine nodded, understanding. "Our first time was incredible. It was like he knew me better than anyone ever has. He let me lead, knew exactly how to touch me. There ARE men out there that you can trust with your body… and your heart." She promised her.

At that moment, two loud shouts came from the living room. Catherine smiled and shook her head. "Apparently they found some sort sporting event."

Ziva smiled thankful that they had a distraction. Catherine, not wanting to push, turned back to the counter and began wiping again. After several moments, she spoke.

"You know, for the longest time, I would sit and read the women in our chat room and envy them. Those that were able to move past their rape…. The humiliation…. I never thought I could get to that place."

"To be honest… I feel envious of you right now." Ziva admitted softly.

Catherine stopped and spun. "Me? Why?"

Ziva took a few moments to sum up her thoughts. "You… you moved past whatever happened to you. Here you are… successful… married…. You don't seem to have any lasting scars from your past."

Catherine stared at her for several moments. "You… you don't know what happened to me?"

Ziva shook her head. "No… how could I?"

Catherine thought for several moments. She took Ziva by the hand and led her into the living room. She let go of Ziva's hand and sat down next to her husband. Grabbing the remote she turned the TV down.

Thomas looked her for several moments. He reached out and touched the side of her face. "What is it?"

Catherine didn't answer but continued to stare at him. Tony and Ziva felt like they were having a silent conversation for just the two of them.

Catherine reached out and took Thomas' hand in hers. Turning to Tony and Ziva, she began her story.

"I… uh… I was 31 years old. I was the chief surgical resident at Riverland Hospital in Savannah. I had several interns who reported to me. One of them was a man by the name of Andrew Capra."

She paused and stared at Thomas' hand. He'd now taken her hand in his and was rubbing patterns on her hand with his thumb.

"Andrew was young and good looking. He could have any girl he wanted. He was out a lot, always running off on trips with friends. It began to affect his work. One day at the hospital, he'd made a mistake… one in a long list of many. I reprimanded him severely. Later that night he showed up on my front porch wanting to talk to me. He was desperate to save his position in the program. We had a couple of beers while we went over his performance. We went over all of the errors he'd made, and how he could have killed someone if we didn't have a safety checklist in place. I told him in no uncertain terms that he was failing and wouldn't be allowed to continue with his surgical internship."

She stopped and grabbed Thomas' beer and took a drink. "He… he started to get upset. So I figured I'd give him time to settle down before we talked further about what he could do to save his career. I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I came back a few minutes later he was calmer… even smiling. We started talking as I finished my beer…. The next thing I knew the room went dark."

Tony cringed as Ziva began holding her breath. Catherine squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. "When… when I came to Capra was on top of me… I couldn't fight him, my arms and legs were bound. I ended out blacking out again… the drug was so strong."

Thomas reached his arm out and put it around her shoulder. She leaned into his warmth. "What he didn't know was that my Father had given me a gun because of a rash of murders that had been happening in Savannah. When I came to again, Capra was gone… everything was still hazy and foggy. I could hear him in the house talking… I started working at the nylon cords he had me tied with. The cords tore the skin on my one hand and it began to bleed. The blood made it easier to work my wrist free. There was a tray next me… with surgical instruments on it. I grabbed the scalpel and cut myself free. I fell onto the floor and grabbed my Father's gun from under the bed. He came back into the room in just enough time for me to shoot him. My neighbors heard the shots and called the police."

She stabbed away at tears that were stinging her eyes. Suddenly she turned her gaze directly to Ziva. "I felt ashamed… humiliated… stupid for letting him get me. Every time I closed my eyes I could see him above me… I could feel him… I was too ashamed to turn to any of my friends at the hospital. I… my Father didn't understand. He was life-long military. As I struggled to continue living he told me that I should 'Just get over it'." She snorted.

"I left Savannah a month later and came here to Boston. A year later I began working with Dr. Falco at Pilgrim."

The room was silent with the exception of their breathing. Tony leaned forward resting his arms on his knees. "The two of you met after that?"

Thomas shook his head slightly. Catherine wiped her eyes again but didn't speak. "Capra had a certain way he killed. He would drug the woman, rape her, and then cut out her uterus." Tony couldn't help but inhale sharply. Thomas paused but then continued. "He would tie surgical knots so the woman didn't bleed to death. He would just sit and enjoy her pain. Finally, when the thrill was over he would cut her throat. He always left her nightclothes folded up neatly in the room. Not all of those details were release by the Savannah PD. One year after Catherine killed Capra, a murder with the same M.O. happened here in Boston. I was the lead detective. The case went cold and I had no further leads on it."

Catherine leaned further into Thomas' warmth. "There was this… stupid… newspaper article about women surgeon's in the Boston area. They interviewed three of us and printed the articles with pictures. That was enough to set off another rash of murders. He… he began taunting me. For my birthday he e-mailed me photos of a woman drugged and bound. The police were able to get to her in time before she bled to death. He…. Didn't cut her throat deep enough to kill her right away. Once I was able to get her stabilized one of the nurse's found that he'd left me a message written on her body. Later he came into the hospital and killed her and another one of my patients.

A sudden memory flashed into Tony's mind. "The surgeon. I remember reading a little about the case." He said softly.

Moore nodded. "That was what the press dubbed him. The moniker stuck." Thomas thought for a moment. "When the killing began again, we linked these killings with the ones in Savannah. That of course lead us to Catherine. The only difference was that during the killings in Boston, the victims weren't raped the night they were killed. However they were all rape victims prior to that."

They were all quiet for a short time. Finally, it was Ziva that spoke first. "Earlier, you said that you both knew that you shouldn't."

Catherine smiled sadly and placed her hand on Thomas' chest. He, in turn, smiled softly and kissed the top of her head. "I was the lead Detective on a case of multiple homicides and I went and fell in love with our lead witness."

Ziva smiled slightly. Catherine watched her momentarily. "Good from evil." She whispered.

"It wasn't too good when my Lieutenant found out. He threatened to pull me off the case. He sent me down to Savannah to check the files to see if there was something the Savannah PD had missed. It was then that 'The Surgeon' made his move."

Ziva's mouth was dry. It felt as if she's swallowed a mouthful of sand.

Tony's voice was soft. "What happened?" He asked.

"He grabbed me… took me to his house of horrors. He started to cut me when Thomas' partner showed up."

Tony became excited. "He killed him?"

Moore shook his head. "Her. Jane Rizzoli. And no she didn't. He got the drop on her. Had her pinned down to the floor-"

Catherine interrupted. "He pinned her down to the floor by stabbing scalpels through her hands- he didn't realize that Rizzoli was able to partially untie … and her gun was laying next to me."

"You shot him?" Tony asked.

Catherine nodded. "I got him right through the back."

Ziva was pale and staring down at the floor. Catherine wouldn't be deterred. She leaned forward and put her hand on Ziva's. "I did it Ziva. I lived through two nightmares to get what I have today."

Ziva's mouth moved but made no sound. Finally, she whispered. "Reliving it again. Is It worth it?"

Catherine grabbed Ziva by the hand and dragged her off of the sofa. "Catherine?" Thomas called as she and Ziva disappeared down the hallway.

She didn't speak as she gently opened a door and entered a dimly lit room definitely decorated for a child. Walking over to the dark wood crib against the wall, Catherine pointed at her son.

"His name is Christopher." Catherine whispered. Ziva stared down at the little boy who couldn't be any older than six months. Catherine took Ziva's hand and placed it gently on Christopher's back.

Ziva's eyes were wet with tears and she felt the gentle rise and fall of the baby's breathing. "Is it worth it?" Catherine repeated to her.

They stared at the baby silently for what felt like ages. Christopher began to stir slightly which prompted the two women to quietly leave the room.

In the hallway, Catherine stopped Ziva and forced her to look her in the face. "Ziva, you can do it. You can overcome what you went through and get whatever you want out of life. The first step is letting the walls down."

Ziva thought for several moments. "It… it goes against everything that I was raised to be."

Catherine shrugged. " You're living your life for you… not everyone else."

Surprising Catherine, Ziva reached out and engulfed Catherine in her arms. Catherine willingly accepted. "You can do it." She whispered to Ziva.

Soon after, they rejoined the men. Catherine folded herself back into Thomas' warmth. "I think Chris is going to wake up soon." She warned.

Thomas glanced at the clock. "It's about that time." He looked at Tony. "Our son, he goes to sleep the same time every night and wakes up at the same time every night."

Catherine smiled softly. "Most nights he goes to sleep before one of us is home. I think he wakes up just to see both of us."

"He's beautiful." Ziva said softly.

Moore smiled while rubbing a hand back and forth on Catherine's back. "Thank you. We think so too."

That got the desired response. Catherine smiled slightly.

Feeling that the jovial mood from earlier was gone, Tony felt like Catherine and Thomas needed some time alone together.

"Well, it's getting late. We should get back to the hotel." He announced standing.

Catherine and Thomas separated long enough to bid their guests good night. She paused a moment with Ziva. "Just think about what I said."

Ziva nodded and hugged her again, thanking her. Once the door closed behind them Tony paused for a moment. "Wow." He murmured. She nodded and began walking towards the car.

Inside, Catherine collapsed into Thomas' arms the moment the door closed. He didn't need to speak. She sought the comfort she needed from his embrace.

"I'm so proud of you." He whispered. "I know that wasn't easy."

She absorbed his words for several moments. "I just hope it helps."

He nodded. "Me too."

To Be Continued


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much to everyone who's read and commented. And if you're able to handle the subject matter, I highly recommend "The Surgeon" by Tess Gerritsen.**

**It took me several edits to get this chapter at least partway how I wanted it. I'm still now 100% happy with it but I'm at a loss as to what else to do.**

**I hope you continue to enjoy!**

* * *

**"Seek" Part 3/3**

Christopher did wake up shortly after Tony and Ziva had departed. Catherine sat with him in his nursery for several minutes. He quickly dozed off on her shoulder, content to know that both his Mommy and Daddy were home.

She went into the living room where Thomas was waiting for her. She looked briefly at him and then began to head to the kitchen.

"No." He told her as he stood and reached for her hand.

"I have to finish in the kitchen-" She started.

He shook his head and without releasing her hand, then led her down the hallway and into their bedroom. "You need sleep Catherine." He told her gently.

She let him fold her into his arms. "I- I'm not sure I can sleep now." She whispered.

He kissed her hair. "Then I'll sit and hold you. We won't let the demons win Catherine."

She leaned up and kissed him hard. "I love you so much." She whispered.

He caressed her face gently. "You gave me life again. I won't lose you to these nightmares. Never again." He said quietly.

She kissed him again and allowed him to lead her into bed. She layed quietly in his arms for a time before her breathing evened out. He smiled and prayed that it would last through the night.

* * *

Ziva was absolutely silent in the car. Tony wanted to engage her in some sort of conversation… anything to get a glimpse at what she was thinking. But at the same time, knowing how Ziva and Catherine had originally met he really didn't want to push.

So he drove silently back to their hotel. Once inside they stopped in the hallway outside of their respective doors.

He shuffled from foot to foot. "I had a good time tonight. I like them a lot." He said offhandedly.

She nodded but her face remained passive. "Me too." She said softly. "Good night." She said and turned to unlock her door.

Tony turned and began to fumble with his key card. Once he had the door opened he turned to Ziva who was halfway through her own door.

"Ziva?" He called.

She turned expectantly. "If… if you want to talk. I'm right here. Anytime."

She smiled softly. "You are always by my side when I need you. Good night Tony."

She disappeared through the door leaving Tony standing there confused. He shrugged it off and entered his room, quickly changing into sweatpants and a tee shirt before booting up his laptop.

He read article after article regarding Catherine Cordell and the serial killer known as "The Surgeon". Before his reign of terror was completed, several women had been butchered, an elderly man, a Boston PD officer killed, another attacked.

Tony rubbed his eyes and called McGee. After chatting for a few moments McGee accessed the FBI database and sent all files he could find to Tony's email. McGee was curious but didn't ask. The FBI had been brought into the tail end of the investigation, mostly to tie up all loose ends so the Boston PD hands would remain clean. 'The Surgeon', a man named Warren Hoyt, had killed one officer and attacked another. No one wanted the chance of any charges being dropped due to the Boston PD being accused of overstepping their bounds.

The FBI files were more detailed than the newspaper articles. One murder occurred in the same manner than Andrew Capra had killed before minus one detail, this victim in Boston was not raped. A year passed before the second happened. Again, the same M.O minus the rape.

Detective Thomas Moore and Detective Jane Rizzoli, along with their respective partners, led the investigation. Thomas and Catherine had really given them the abridged version of their story. Tony read through the case feeling sick to his stomach.

Hoyt was finally captured when the State Police were called in to provide back up to Detective Rizzoli when she followed Hoyt's money trail to an old farm in the middle of nowhere. Tony didn't know why she went alone, he figured there was more to the story then the FBI knew. However, as the State Police were exiting their cars they heard one single gunshot come from deep within the house.

They stormed the building and traced the sound to the basement. There, they found missing person Dr. Catherine Cordell laying on a table. She was naked and bound by one hand and both ankles by duct tape. She did however have one arm free. She was found unconscious, a deep wound had been cut into her lower abdomen. Considering the amount of blood pooled on the bed and floor, even splashed on the wall, the State Police thought her to be dead.

Warren Hoyt was laying on the ground in his own pool of blood. A gunshot would that through his back had caused him to collapse face down on the ground. Next to where he lay was Detective Jane Rizzoli. She was spread eagle on the ground, scalpels stuck through both of her hands holding her down.

Cordell was surprisingly alive. Rizzoli had found her already bleeding and unconscious and began to untie her when Hoyt got the drop on her. Rizzoli had left her gun next to Catherine as she struggled to free herself from Hoyt. He was about to cut her throat when the shot rang out. Rizzoli was only able to see Catherine's arm fall limply back to the bed as her gun tumbled from her hand.

Catherine and Hoyt were both airlifted to Pilgrim Hospital. Rizzoli was taken to a local hospital to recover. Cordell required surgical closure to the wound in her abdomen. Hoyt had cut her open to remove her uterus. There was an empty jar sitting on the shelf with Cordell's name already written on it. Next to that jar were the other missing organs from Hoyt's prior victims.

Tony read the transcript of the interrogation of Hoyt. He went into gruesome detail of his kills and how each woman died. He described the smell of their blood and the pleasure he later gave himself with his jarred prizes.

His motive was simple. He and Andrew Capra had been partners in Savannah. Capra would drug and rape the women. Hoyt would do the cutting. They would take turns landing the final blow… the cut across her throat.

Hoyt went into detail of the night at Cordell's home. He sat on the bed next to Andrew as he raped Catherine who was still unconscious from the drug she'd that had been slipped in her. Once Capra was finished with her, they were to begin their surgical procedure. However, she was still unconscious and they definitely wanted her awake.

So they waited. Standing in Catherine's kitchen, Andrew had promised him that he could do the cutting. Hoyt was finishing a glass of water when Capra went to see if Catherine had started to come around. That was when the gunshot rang out.

They didn't know that Catherine had come to and was able to free one of her wrists. She grabbed a scalpel that was sitting on their tray of instruments and freed herself. She could hear Capra in the other room talking and went to reach under her bed for the gun. However, still groggy she'd fallen. She was able to grab it and turn just as Capra came back into the room. One shot through the chest and Capra was down. Hoyt rushed back into the room and smashed her on the side of the head knocking her unconscious again.

Capra was still alive but the bullet was in his spine. He was paralyzed and begging Hoyt to finish it. Hoyt did as Andrew wished, as always, and put another bullet through his head killing him instantly. He put the gun back in Catherine's hand and fled the house.

Catherine, between the drug and the blow to her head, never remembered Hoyt being in the house until she underwent hypnosis suggested by Thomas Moore. She never remembered Hoyt, just hearing his voice in the kitchen when she'd first come to.

Hoyt watched Catherine from afar, hell bent on avenging Andrew's death. He followed her from Savannah to Boston and waited. She'd built impenetrable walls around herself. She lived in a high security building with a built in garage that you needed a pin number to enter. She never went out, only to the hospital and back home. No one at the hospital knew about her past because she wouldn't let anyone get close enough to find out. The hospital gossip was the fact that her partner, Dr. Peter Falco, one of the most eligible bachelors at Pilgrim Medical Center, had a huge crush on his partner and kept asking her out repeatedly, only to be shot down every time.

And Hoyt knew all of this because he worked in that very hospital.

It was a newspaper article that set him into motion. It was an article about women surgeons. One third of the story had been about Catherine. The accompanying photo was what did it. Hoyt described how in control and confident she looked. Hoyt pointed out to the FBI agent how she was marked, she'd always be his and Andrew's. He had to show her who was still in control.

Scarily enough, all of the FBI's psychological experts agreed. Warren Hoyt did not have psychological issues.

'He's a pure monster.' Tony thought to himself shuddering. He snapped the lid closed on his laptop and pushed it away. 'There will always be another monster.' Ziva had once told him. After reading through these files, he couldn't help but agree with her.

'Sleep would be hard to come by tonight.' He thought.

* * *

Across the hall, Ziva struggled with monsters of her own. She too had done some research on Catherine and found many of the same newspaper articles Tony had read.

She thought of the strong, proud woman she'd spent time with tonight. She was happy, deeply in love with her husband, had a baby at home… Ziva again felt a twinge of jealousy.

'It took me years just to admit to Tony that I was raped.' She thought, tears suddenly stinging her eyes.

Catherine had implored her to let Tony in. Catherine had told her that she was once like her, that she wouldn't let anyone in for fear of another monster finding her. Instead, she found Thomas, and while all this horror was happening around her, Thomas was able to breach those walls and Catherine allowed herself to be loved.

Ziva's stomach clenched as she slid softly off of the bed. She grabbed her keycard and started for her door, only to stop and shake her head. She wrapped her arms around herself as if she was suddenly cold.

'Just let him in Ziva.' She could hear Catherine's voice echoing in her mind.

Taking a deep breath, Ziva strode quickly through her door and knocked softly on Tony's, praying that he was asleep. She'd barely allowed a few seconds after her first knock before she turned and began to flee back to her room.

The door opened behind her. "Ziva?" He asked.

She walked quietly into his room and sat on the edge of his bed. He closed the door behind her and sat next to her waiting expectantly.

She studied her hands in her lap for several moments fear gripping her heart like ice. "After- after we scuddled the Damocles, I forced a courier to take me to Saleem's camp. I took out several of his men before they overpowered me… that was when it began."

* * *

Catherine stretched luxuriously across the bed as warm rays of morning sunshine began streaming through the curtains. The moment she moved she felt Thomas' hand on her bare shoulder.

"Ugh, it can't be morning already." She mumbled.

He chuckled and moved closer to her. "I'm afraid it is." He said quietly. Glancing at the clock he added, "And we have about ten minutes before Christopher wakes up."

She smiled. Their son was pretty much like an alarm clock. He woke up at the same time, napped at the same time, went to bed at the same time everyday. They knew when he was born that getting him on a schedule was important. Never in their wildest imagination would they think he'd continue it.

She turned and began playing with pieces of his sleep mussed hair. "I'm sorry you didn't get much sleep last night." She said softly.

He smiled. "I'm not."

She knew he was joking and smiled. Several nightmares had woken her during the night. At one point, so desperate for his comfort and warmth she'd began undressing him as he tried to console her.

He'd rightfully pushed her away and let her calm down. They'd layed spooned together and whispering softly to one another. When she was relaxed she turned to him and thanked him for loving her so much. He then bent and lifted her nightshirt and sliding the waistband of her underwear down slightly.

There, she still bore the scar of Hoyt's scalpel. He traced it lightly with his fingers and then traced it with his lips. He moved her to tears as the act of reverence bore right through to her soul.

She couldn't imagine what her life would be like if Thomas Moore had never strolled into the ER that day to question her. She couldn't imagine what her life would be like if she didn't let him through all the defenses she'd built around herself after Savannah.

She did know however that she wouldn't want her life any other way.

* * *

At the hotel, Ziva awoke and was momentarily disoriented. After a few moments she realized she was in Tony's room… asleep in Tony's bed.

She looked down and saw that the covers had been pulled up over her. She was still dressed as she had been when she came over, only her shoes were now laying neatly next to the nightstand.

Tony was nowhere to be found. The bathroom door was open and the light off, so she knew she wasn't in there. She quickly wiped at her face and winced. Her cheeks felt splotchy, she eyes irritated from her confession the night before.

Tony had amazed her. He'd listened patiently while she told her tale. When she began to get overwhelmed and the fear threatened to swallow her, he would gently reach out to her and touch her arm in encouragement.

She explained to him from day one in Saleem's camps. The beatings, the starvation, the repeated rape and abuse. He didn't asked questions and just let her talk.

He finally broke his silence when she described her final day. Two of Saleem's men were in her cell taking her again. She'd lost the will to fight. She just laid there with her eyes clenched shut willing her body to die.

They could hear Saleem yelling down the hall to get her dressed. They'd roughly pulled her clothes back on as Saleem slammed into the cell and threw a sack over her head.

Ziva was near hysterics as she described feeling disgusted by their sticky filth that was still on her when Saleem had slammed her down into that chair in front of Tony.

"They…. They were raping you just a few rooms away from me?" He'd choked out.

She froze, thinking that this was it. This was when Tony would be so disgusted by what had been done to her that he'd push her away and never look back.

Instead, he opened his arms and gave her the option of coming to him. She faltered momentarily, but went into his embrace. They cried together as he gently rocked her back and forth. He didn't speak further for several minutes until he uttered one sentence.

"If I had known Ziva… if I had known you were there… alive… I would have killed every one of them." He whispered into her hair.

Exhaustion had overtaken her. She didn't know how long she'd stayed in Tony's arms but she'd eventually fallen asleep. She remembered seeing faint rays of sunlight through the curtains before sleep came.

And now…. He was gone. The initial shock had worn off and he fled. He had to get as far away from her as he could.

Sitting up against his pillows he pulled her knees up to her chest. The tears returned as she sat alone rocking herself in a false sense of comfort. She thought of calling Catherine, surely she'd understand. But she felt paralyzed.

The sound of quiet scrape from the door startled her. Tony entered quietly and turned to smile at her. "Good morning. I thought you'd still be asleep so I was trying to be quiet."

She was thrown further off balance. "Where were you?" She asked hoarsely.

He sat at the foot of the bed and looked at her. "I… I didn't know how comfortable you would feel with me in the bed with you so I went and slept in your room."

"You…. You slept in my room?" She repeated.

He nodded. "Yeah. Where did you think I was?"

"Gone." She said in the faintest of voices.

He reached out his hand and put it on her knee. "Look at me." He said. When her eyes still didn't meet his he tried again.

"Look at me!" He ordered.

Her dark eyes met his and it only took one word to seal his promise to her forever.

"Never."

She smiled as tears threatened to flow again. "I uh… I should go get ready. We're supposed to be at the police station at 9am."

"Yeah, our flight leaves at 1530. I hope we can see Catherine and Thomas again before we go." Tony said.

Ziva slid off the bed and slipped her shoes on. Tony stood walked her to the door.

"Hey Ziva-"

She turned to him.

"Thank you."

She looked confused. "It is I who should be thanking you."

He shook his head. "You've been carrying all of that around for so long. Thank you for… for trusting me enough to share it with me."

She smiled again as she reached her hand out and touched his cheek, allowing it to linger there. She stood on her tiptoes and moved forward. Tony leaned down expecting a kiss on the cheek, something she'd done before in their most intimate of moments.

This time she surprised him. Instead of her lips touching his cheek, she brushed them across his mouth ever so gently.

He was stunned and didn't have a chance to respond before she was gone and out the door. She turned slightly and glanced back at him.

He bore a smile on his face the likes she hadn't seen since Cartegena. Maybe… just maybe Catherine was on to something.

* * *

They wound their way through the police station until they reached the homicide bureau. The room was small… much smaller than they'd expected. A tall, slim woman with long, dark curly hair greeted them.

"Can I help you?" She asked standing from her desk and moving towards them.

Tony and Ziva both pulled their badges and flashed them at her. "Agents David and DiNozzo. "

The woman nodded and stuck her hand out. "Jane Rizzoli. You're here to sign off on the Jenkins case, right?"

Ziva nodded and glanced oddly at Tony who seemed to be at a loss for words. He was staring at the detective. Rizzoli didn't seem to notice. She walked over to another officer's desk and picked up a thick folder. "This is what you're looking for. How's the girl doing?" She asked.

Tony blinked a few times before answering. "She'll recover physically. Dr. Cordell had to operate but she said she'll recover." He'd named dropped on purpose just to see what reaction he'd get from Rizzoli.

On the outside, her face was stone. That was until Tony caught her rubbing her hands together. Ziva caught the motion too almost gasping at the scars she had on both hands.

"Well, she's in good hands. Dr. Cordell is an excellent doctor." Rizzoli said absently before moving back to her desk. "Was there anything else you needed?"

Tony shook his head. "No, this should be it. Thanks."

"Thank you." Ziva said quickly and began moving towards the door. She suddenly stopped and turned back towards Rizzoli. "Could you tell us where Detective Thomas Moore's office is?"

Rizzoli visibly blanched at his name. Her face flushed slightly before barking out directions. She then quickly turned her head back to the pile of paperwork on her desk summarily dismissing them.

In the hall, both Tony and Ziva stopped and glanced at each other. "That reaction was extreme." Tony said.

She nodded in agreement. "Did you see the scars on her hands?" She whispered to him.

He nodded. They walked and found Thomas who was sitting at his desk playing checkers with a little girl who couldn't be any older than ten. He saw them come through the door and waved them closer. As they approached the little girl they saw that her cheek was swollen and her eye bruised.

"I'll be right back Roni, okay? No cheating." He teased. The little girl, despite her appearance, giggled and began swinging her feet back and forth in the chair.

Moore led them away from her and sighed. "Second time she's been here. First her parents beat the hell out of her, and then another kid in the foster home does the same thing." He sighed deeply.

"Special victims is a tough gig." Tony pointed out.

Moore nodded. "Some days tougher than others. Did you get the paperwork you needed?"

Tony nodded and held up the folder. "I was hoping we'd get a chance to take you out to lunch, to thank you for last night."

Thomas shrugged. "Don't mention it. We enjoyed the company. But I will take you up on lunch." He grabbed a piece of paper from a nearby desk and scribbled an address down on it. "About 12:00?" He asked handing it to Tony.

Tony nodded. "Sounds great." Moore looked at Ziva and took pity on her. "If you don't want to hear anymore cop stories I'm sure Catherine would love company for lunch. She usually spends it with Christopher. He goes to the daycare at the hospital." He pointed out.

Ziva's smile was brilliant. "I would like that."

Moore smiled as well. "So would she. As much as we love our son, he's not yet much of a conversationalist."

DiNozzo laughed and shook Moore's hand. "I'll see you at 12."

* * *

They made their way over to the hospital to check on Laurie. They spoke to her Mother in the hallway before making their way into the girl's room.

She sat unresponsive in bed, not making eye contact with Ziva or Tony the entire time they were in her room. Her answers when she would give them were monosyllabic. The good news was that Dr. Cordell had convinced her to speak to someone from psych services. Well, Laurie hadn't agreed, she's merely shrugged. Catherine had taken that as a positive sign. Tony and Ziva hoped it was a positive sign as well.

* * *

Once finished with Laurie, Tony left to go meet Thomas and promised to come pick Ziva up afterwards. She made her way down to the cafeteria. Catherine was already there, Christopher balanced on her knee as she spoon fed baby food into his mouth.

She greeted Ziva was a smile but her eyes showed weariness from her sleepless night before. Ziva sat and leaned forward to introduce herself to Christopher.

She was taken by what a handsome child he was. He had Catherine's skin tone and smile that he kept flashing after every bite of baby food. Ziva laughed but Catherine grimaced. "He just does that because the baby food runs out of his mouth." She said with a smile.

The little hair he had was dark brown, definitely not the coppery tone of Catherine's. His eyes were the identical gray color of Thomas' as well. Ziva watched him for several moments before commenting. "He is definitely going to break hearts when he is older." Ziva pointed out.

Catherine smiled. "He already sits in his high chair at the daycare and bats his eyelashes at the girls." She laughed. Catherine pushed away one jar of food and popped open another one, this time spooning some kind of green goop out of it. Christopher sat like a baby bird with his mouth wide open waiting for the spoon.

"Here baby boy, your favorite, green beans." She cooed as he smacked his lips together and opened his mouth for more.

"Do you two eat lunch together often?" Ziva asked.

Catherine nodded. "Everyday that I possibly can. Even if I can't take lunch in time to feed him I still go and spend time with him on break. Life's too short not to spend every moment with those that we love." She ended softly.

Ziva looked at her for several moments. "I- I talked to Tony last night. I told him everything."

Catherine wiped the baby's mouth with his bib before spooning more in. "How do you feel?"

The question threw Ziva for a moment. She expected Catherine to ask how it went, now how she felt.

Ziva thought before answering. "I feel… unburdened."

Catherine smiled. "And that is the first big step."

"Tony was amazing. He knew exactly what to say and when to say it. He knew exactly how to comfort me when I needed it the most."

"He cares a great deal about you."

"And I him." Ziva replied.

"And you two have never-" She trailed off as Ziva shook her head.

"No. Never." She thought for several moments. "There was a time or two when I thought maybe… but it just never happened."

Catherine thought for several moments. Christopher had stopped showing interest in his green beans so Catherine switched to a jar of fruit which brought a smile back to his face.

"Why do you think that is?" She asked Ziva thoughtfully.

Ziva smiled at the baby who was drooling yellow down his chin. "I do not know. I guess… it was never the right time for us."

"He cares for you." Catherine said bluntly.

"Yes." Ziva agreed. "We have been partners for many years."

Catherine smiled and shook her head. "That's not what I meant. "

Ziva placed her hands on the table and began to fiddle with her fingers. "I know. I get mixed signals from him sometimes. "

Christopher had decided that he'd had enough. Catherine tried one more spoonful which he batted away causing it to splatter onto the table.

"Okay okay, Mommy gets the hint." Catherine said as she wiped the goop from his face.

Ziva held her hands out. "Here, let me watch him while you grab something to eat." She offered.

Catherine hesitated for a moment. She looked at Christopher and then her new friend. "This is new. Usually I balance him on my hip while I grab lunch." She smiled and handed the baby over to Ziva. "What do you want?"

Ziva shrugged. "I am not fussy. A salad is fine."

Ziva sat with Christopher and played with several of his toys that were scattered on the table. Christopher eyed his new friend warily, but the squeaky sound of his favorite bunny won him over.

Catherine enjoyed the freedom of being able to choose a lunch that she wanted, and not something she could eat with one hand. She created a colorful salad for herself and one for Ziva, placing several dressings in a cup along side for Ziva to choose from.

After paying, Catherine returned to the table and reached for the baby. "No, it is okay. He can stay here for a while." Ziva told her.

Catherine smiled and began to eat. After a few bites she picked up their earlier conversations. "Ziva, is it possible that what you see as mixed signals from Tony are his own fears holding him back?" she asked suddenly.

Ziva adjusted Christopher on her lap and thought for a moment. "I uh… there are other things in the way as well. Our boss for one."

The baby was starting to get squirmy so Catherine reached over to take him. He laid quietly on her shoulder and began to doze. "Is it against NCIS regulations?" She asked.

Ziva shook her head as she poured dressing on her salad. "No. But it is against our bosses rules."

Catherine smiled softly. She studied Ziva for a moment. "Do you think it would be worth it?"

Ziva stopped mid-chew and thought of the warmth that coursed through her body when she was laying on Tony's arms last night. She thought of the smile he gave her this morning when she'd gently tasted his lips with hers.

Catherine saw a small smile begin to form on her lips and grinned. "Sometimes breaking the rules is worth it."

Ziva's brows knit. "Was it that bad for you and Thomas?" She asked genuinely intrigued.

Catherine sipped at the coffee while expertly balancing the now dozing baby on her shoulder.

"Thomas and I met at the worst time possible. He showed up at the ER with another Detective to ask me questions and there was just something about him… something that made me immediately trust him. Now keep in mind that I'd lost faith in all men for over two years. I ever kept Peter at a distance and he was my partner. The more in depth the case became the more my feelings for Thomas shifted. One day he was hitting me hard with questions and I just… broke down in front of him. He pulled me into his arms to comfort me. He even kissed my forehead. That's when I knew he was feeling it too. He told me that day that he was still mourning the loss of his wife. He told me that he'd crossed the line and asked me to forget it happened."

"What did you say?" Ziva asked softly.

Catherine smiled over her coffee cup. "I asked him if he could forget it. We got interrupted and we did forget about it for a few more days. Until the day I got the nerve and invited him in. We both knew what would happen if he followed me into my apartment that day. There wasn't any hesitation, no second guessing… it was just wonderful. I didn't panic, I didn't have any frightening memories, it was just all about him and me. I came to a realization during that time."

"What?" Ziva asked, barely in a whisper.

Catherine looked around to ensure no one was within earshot. "Violence is not sex. And sex is not always love. What I felt with him that first time was pure, unadulterated love. Afterwards, I was laying in his arms and we were talking. I told him that he made me feel safe, and somehow he just understood how to do that. I told him he was the only man that I've felt like I could trust. He promised me that some men were worth trusting. I asked him how was I supposed to know which ones? He told me that it would be the one still standing beside me."

Ziva felt a lump in her throat that was almost impossible to swallow. Catherine saw that she was touching upon something buried deep within Ziva so she continued.

"It didn't stop my insecurities. We spent most of that weekend together. But then on Monday he didn't contact me at all. I left him a couple of messages that he didn't return. I thought for sure I'd done something wrong, or he'd come to his senses. Instead it was worse."

"How?"

"Detective Rizzoli had told their Lieutenant that he'd spent the night in my apartment Saturday night. He was ordered to stay away from me… not even to contact me or they'd pull him off of the case. They sent him out of town. All I got was a cryptic message telling me that my new contact with the PD would be Detective Frost. I didn't understand at the time. I thought Thomas was disgusted by me."

She absently put her spoon back in her coffee and began stirring it again. "When I first woke up in the hospital after Hoyt… well after… I was all alone in my room. I became so upset that they had to sedate me. But when I came to again, Thomas was there. He was sitting next to my bed holding my hand. " Catherine's eyes became glassy. "He… had tears rolling down his cheeks. That was when I knew my fears were all unfounded. He later told me what happened."

Ziva smiled. "And you have been together ever since?"

Catherine nodded. "We were married seven months later. It wasn't without it's uphill battles." She absently began playing with her coffee again. "Thomas had a reputation in the police department. He was the 'go to' guy when any of the other officers needed moral support or a shoulder to lean on. They even nicknamed him Saint Thomas. His fellow officers knew him as a good man with a kind heart who always walked the straight and narrow. That was until I came along. A lot of people were disappointed that a woman had caused him to fall from his pedestal. Friendships and partnerships he held dear fell apart."

Ziva thought momentarily to their earlier encounter at the police station. "Like with Jane Rizzoli?" He question caused Catherine's brown to furrow.

"How did you know?" She asked.

"We ran into her earlier. We simply asked her where Thomas' desk was and her whole attitude changed."

Catherine smiled sadly. "Thomas was one of the few detectives Rizzoli didn't have trouble working with when she first transferred to homicide. They worked well together until I came along. She hated me for the start. She hated everything about me, especially what my relationship with Thomas had done. If anything, we should have bonded over what happened to us in the basement that day. But the truth is, she hardly acknowledges that either of us exist."

Ziva could tell that the course of their conversation brought great sadness to Catherine. She hated being the cause of strife of any sort for Thomas. "Cops have a tendency to stick with their own. They work together, eat together, celebrate together. He rarely gets invited to any of those events anymore. And when it's something that involves family, we never get invited. All of the cops still look at me as a victim. They don't see what I've overcome."

Ziva felt Catherine's sadness overtake her. "Is that why he left homicide?" She asked.

Catherine nodded. "He thought maybe a change of pace would do him some good. It has somewhat. But- through all of this, if you ask him if he'd do it all again, do you know what he would tell you?"

Ziva smiled. "He would tell me 'yes'."

Catherine smiled. "Absolutely. And that's the type of man I see in Tony. Ziva, let your heart reach out. The rewards are worth the sacrifice."

* * *

Several blocks away, Tony was seated with Thomas enjoying a fattening hamburger and mound of fries. The diner was loud and boisterous and filled with several police officers on their lunch break

He and Thomas was having a heart to heart conversation of their own. "I just… I don't know what to do. I have these… feelings… for her that keep welling up to the surface. Yet every time we start to get close something gets in the way."

Thomas finished chewing before answering. "That's only because you allow it to."

Tony pushed some French fries around his plate. "I don't know if that is true-"

Thomas smirked and took a drink from his soda. He sat the glass back down and focused on the younger man. "Tony when I lost my first wife I thought my world had ended. Mary and I had married when I had just graduated in from the police academy. We had over twenty wonderful years together and then just that quick… she was gone."

Tony's mouth became dry thinking of the moment Gibbs' had told the team about the sinking of the Damocles. 'There were no survivors'.

"Mary wasn't sick, she wasn't in an accident… her body just gave up. That morning she was fine. Hours later she lay in a coma that she would never wake up from. Six months of waiting… and hoping… not allowing myself to grieve. Finally she passed, and grief began. I wallowed in it Tony for over eighteen months. There were nights that I'd just go home and stare at her clothes still hanging in our closet. I couldn't bare to take my wedding ring off. It wasn't until I met Catherine that I was able to see my life beginning again. When Hoyt had her I was prepared to rip this planet apart piece by piece until I found her. When she was in the hospital, I sat by her bed just praying that she would understand why I was forced to step away from her. She opened her eyes, looked at me and smiled… that was when I knew that I would do ANYTHING to keep that smile on her face. I never wanted another day feeling like I was just living the motions of life… but not really living it. And I swore to myself that I would do everything I could to keep Catherine in my life."

Tony felt as if someone had turned off all the air in the room. He understood exactly what Thomas spoke of. He'd lived it himself.

"I don't know if Ziva-" His voice trailed off.

Thomas looked at him sympathetically. "You won't know unless you try."

Tony nodded deep in thought. They went back to swapping stories but Thomas' words kept nagging in the back of his mind.

Later, he thanked Thomas and while shaking the man's hand, could help but be overcome with the sense that this was someone who would forever be part of his life. Thomas must have felt it too as he reached a hand out and clasped Tony's arm.

"Have a safe trip." He told him.

Tony promised he would and went to pick Ziva up. He called her cell once he was pulling into the parking lot. Ziva and Catherine were waiting for him outside. As he angled into the parking space, he couldn't help but stare slightly at Catherine thinking of what he'd read in the files the night before.

He exited the car to say goodbye to her. She embraced him warmly before turning to Ziva. Neither woman spoke. Ziva just embraced her tightly, clutching to her almost as if she was a lifeline before releasing her.

"I'll talk to you soon." Catherine promised her. Ziva smiled and nodded before climbing into the car.

They spoke a little about their respective lunches and how much they would miss their new friends. Once they were on the flight back to D.C. Ziva immersed herself into a book while Tony settled into his seat to get some sleep.

More than once, he caught Ziva's attention diverted from her book and looking sideways at him. Each time she was caught her face would blush slightly before turning back to her novel.

Tony closed his eyes in an attempt to sleep again. His mind was whirling. Somehow, this routine case had taken a life of it's own. He couldn't help but feel as if his life was forever changed.

In the car on the way to the office, Ziva was quiet. She was deeply lost in thought making Tony wish he could read her mind. They pulled into NCIS. Ziva had just unbuckled her seatbelt when Tony reached over and touched her arm.

Now or never.

"Hey. I was thinking… maybe tomorrow night we could… I don't know… go to dinner or something?" He stuttered out.

Her face blushed slightly again. "Dinner as in… the team?" She asked coyly.

"No, dinner as in us." He clarified.

"Us… and in you and me?" She smiled at his flustered expression. "I would like that." She said softly.

Tony's face lit up again before he threw the door open and exited the car.

The following night was incredible for both of them. She'd asked Tony where they were meeting.

"Meeting? We're not meeting. I'm picking you up at 7PM." He said confidently.

She sat on the front of his desk and looked back at him. She spoke quietly. "Tony? Is this a date?"

A lump formed in his throat. He swallowed several times before being able to speak. "Do you want it to be?" He asked coyly.

She thought for a moment. "I- I think that I do." They stared at each other for several moments before they both smiled.

Their dinner was wonderful and Ziva was beginning to feel that spark returning. After dinner, Tony had walked her to her door and kissed her cheek before making a hasty exit, leaving Ziva a bit speechless.

* * *

It took a few dates before it happened. Their real, true, heart pouring kiss. They were again outside of her door as he was dropping her off. She'd initiated it, although shyly. He reciprocated until neither could breathe any longer. Their foreheads rested together before he cupped her cheek.

"Good night Ziva." He walked a bit slower each time they parted. Tonight was no exception.

She knew what he was doing. He was being a gentleman and letting the ball rest in her court. She was grateful for it. No pressure meant no expectations.

Finally, two and a half weeks after their first date she invited him before they'd even exited the car. Both of them knew that her invitation was a double entendre. He searched her eyes for several moments before replying.

"I'd like that."

Once inside her door he turned and closed the doors and locks. The moment he turned around she was in his arms, kissing him with a fever that surprised them both. Every part of her came alive as she led him down the hallway to her bedroom, kissing him the entire way.

He let her lead and set the pace so not to push her. She took the initiative and unbuttoned his shirt and pants. She felt his arousal as she unzipped his pants but wasn't frightened or cautious.

This was Tony. He knew her better than anyone. He was the one man who was still standing beside her after everything. He was the one she knew she could trust.

He searched her eyes as he reached for her blouse, slowly working the buttons open. Seeing no hesitation in her eyes he allowed the blouse to fall to the floor with barely a whisper. Her bra fell next. He bent to gently kiss her breast which brought a sigh of pleasure from her.

His kiss wasn't an act of possession, it was an act of love. As the laid together on the bed, no flashes or unbidden memories intruded upon their time. Once they had stripped away the final pieces of their clothing, she sighed again at the feel of his weight pressing her into the mattress. He searched her eyes deeply before he made his next move. She touched his face gently telling him that she was okay. He kissed her forehead, both cheeks and then her nose before he slowly entered her.

She had forgotten what pleasure sex could bring as Tony cherished her body. They awoke hours later in each other's arms. She felt no need to flee or cover herself. She felt no disgust at how her body now felt. She sighed happily and wiggled deeper into his embrace.

They were both now convinced that this was how their lives were supposed to be.

* * *

They'd continued their friendship with Thomas and Catherine. Even through there was a physical distance between them, the two couples spent as much time together as their schedules would permit. They would travel to D.C to visit. Tony and Ziva traveled to Boston for Christopher's first birthday. They'd meet up in New York as a halfway point for a break away from their stressful lives.

They had gone through weeks of hell when Gibbs found out. They were threatened, berated, ignored, and slapped in the back of the head. But they held steadfast to their belief that they could make it work. If nothing else, they were determined to prove him wrong. And they did just that.

And today, Gibbs made sure he pointed that out as he'd given his speech at their wedding reception. The ceremony itself wasn't without it's dramatic moments. The first being at the start when Christopher, who was serving as their ring bearer, got halfway down the aisle and refused to walk any further. He stood in the middle of the aisle shaking his head 'no' as Thomas tried to coax him the rest of the way down.

Thomas finally had to step from Tony's side to go and retrieve his petulant son. Ziva didn't have a maid of honor, instead choosing to have both Abby and Catherine serve as bridesmaids while Gibbs gave her away. During the ceremony someone had forgotten to turn off their cellphone so that interrupted as well.

But when it came time for their vows, nothing short of a meteor striking the building would come between them. Later as they danced at their reception Tony stole a quick kiss from her. "I need to lay off the champagne. I'm starting to feel foggy." He said with a laugh.

She smiled and shrugged. "I have not had any." She stated matter of factly.

He pulled back. "What? Why? You had some during out first toast."

She shook her head. "I did not drink. I wanted to give you my wedding gift later but I think I can do it now."

Tony smiled lecherously. "Right here? Now? In front of everyone?" He joked.

She smacked his arm but smiled before kissing him deeply. His knees suddenly felt weak when she leaned up and whispered to him.

"You are going to be a father."

The End


End file.
